are you still at the devil's house?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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