I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
