Non-Jews are for practice
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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