He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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