Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
