YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
