Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
