im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
