There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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