We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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