Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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