yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm at about main and main street
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
