or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
