Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize