i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
