My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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