I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
did you just send me my own nude
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
