just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
