All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
