I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
why didn't you poke me back
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
