called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
