p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
