Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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