Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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