I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
