I hate your face
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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