If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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