he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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