Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize