People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
