Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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