The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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