i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
