She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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