She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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