i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
