It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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