i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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