i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
