he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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