finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
