If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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