idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
