is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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