i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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