True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
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I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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