My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
