R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
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So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
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Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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