she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
