Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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