He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
