If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
