remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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