everyone is single if you try hard enough
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
