every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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