the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
