he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
