The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
