I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
