i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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